You and I

You and I connect on many levels

Not the mundane but the unusual.

We connect on the music we play

Or the songs we hum

Or the crazy show we catch every night.

You and I connect and run away

From all that we know is possible.

We connect and break the thread

Of similar sentiments

Of reflecting dreams.

You and I are so afraid

To say the words which really mean?

We could touch our souls

And find eternal bliss

And find final resting place to call home.

Yet all we do is run in circles

Of words and fake laughs.

We negate the pulse that tells the truth

Of the desire in our heart.

We are forever in denial.

Scared is our much scarred heart

To indulge in any more games,

For it is easier to have a friend to call

At 2 AM, than have someone to love

In the waking hours of the Dawn.

Little Happiness

A day of beauty and serenity
And a lot of thought of gone by years
Of blissful youth and exuberance.

A time to think of all the small and big things
A time to feel a little more closer to the innner truth
An hour when I find small 'not haves' become blessings.

A festivity that surrounds and bedecks the streets
A tune so nostalgic and haunting fills the air
A perfumed morning of incense and flower.

Bringing together those we forgot
Clearing the heart of all the regrets
Filling the mind with peaceful thoughts.

Here we usher in Sharodiya Utshab.

...for all the little happinesses you bring
...... for all the large sadnesses you obliterate
........... for a blessed life that i find myself living...

THANK YOU MAA FOR THE WONDERFUL GIFTS!

upnext .. ...

Next week i hope to put up a collection of my poems whch were written for a very special person, and remind me of very special memories.
The collecton is entitled " Walking with You ".

SCREAM

i scream....

so much pain and so much hurt,
i hide, i hide,
and smile, i smile.
the soft cheeks are wet with the monsoon rain.
is this salty tear or a drop of dew?

sun shinning brilliantly,
or is it ur face that i see?
slowly i open my eyes,
and the nightmare is past.

dreams, dreams, dreams,
so real do they seem.
could i but dream all day and night?
could i just hold u close to my heart?

cry and not cry,
smile and not laugh,
happy and be glad,
slow and still fast,
my heart beats and i knw that i am alive.

muddle, bigger and better
and greater and sadder,
i create, and i destroy,
every second,
every minute,
every hour.....

i swim out, and crash against the rock,
shatter, pain, blood...
sweat and tears...
close my eyes, i will sleep now...
an eternal sleep, just once,
but u won't be mine,
not now, not ever.
close ur eyes and dream,
see me, save me, hold me...
i need u....
i do..
i do...
i do....
please..
please...
i beg u.
and i pray..
and i cry...
and i faint...
and then when u turn away... inspite of all...
i,
i,
i....... DIE.

a sudden creative urge at office

he breezes past me and everytime i look away,
incase, he saw me smile or saw me grin,
he would most certainly interpret it.
and get it wrong, yet i long for a few
words unseen and unheard, on the waves
as they float and are caught by the eyes.
as i read them i think again of what to say,
yet all i know is there is so much to smile
and laugh for and grin.

it is such a delight to hear the chimming voice
and know that someone is looking at me
and notices even the subtlest change in my expressions.
it is a time when i cannot help remember such thoughts,
as i waft into a world where sweet friendships are forged.

MBA Class Creativity - Six

23/08/04 once more in the same class..

Slowly I doze and a dream flickers on,
The buzzing fans quieten into a slow whirl.
The slow circulating air feels like Marijuana smoke,
Escaping through my eyelids are warm tears.
The drink slips aaway and crashes on the floor,
The broken shards of glasses hurt my eyes.
There is someone right here beside me,
Yet, I know he is not you.
The tears flow and I know I am crying for you.
But why? You will not see, you will not hear,
And you will not know.
I cry and pine for you and know not what to do.
Never, Never, Never, shall i cry again,
I promise myself once more,
Only to break down at the thought of seeing you tonight.

MBA Class Creativity - Five

23/08/04 16:35 PM

when the dogs start barking outside
I will hear your voice from within.
Noise blocked out , against all screams
Help me cross the dark tunnel of despair.
Could I see you waiting at the end of the tunnel?
I run towards the light yet it recedes
Away from me.
I am lonely yet I smile
I am crying inside yet I let
My laughter light up people's time.
Why do I hide?
Why do I hide?
Running away, far away from the pain,
The grief and the sorrow.
Where is the warmth to melt the frost?
Yes you are warm and the closeness i feel
Can never go away.
Yet, I am afraid I will lose you.
When you are so far away where my hands can't touch you,
I fear and run scared and worried,
What if you forget me?

MBA Class Creativity - Four

08 JULY 2004

I JUST DOZED OFF TO A DREAMLAND
i just felt so light as if floating in air,
you were sitting beside me and then i woke upwhy do such dreams crowd my mind?
losing people should not turn to habit
it seems i haven't learnt my lessons
previous mistakes are to teach us
but i learn no lessons.
eevrytime i come closer to someone
i lose my mind, i lose control
i lose you.
i want you back and know not what to do.
i want to love you but i cannot without you near.
and i'm regrettng having not striven harder
but what more could i have done?
i felt helpless then as i do now.
i cannot help thinking i've made the biggest blunder.
are you never to come across me?
will i never hold your hands?
will i never feel close to you again?

MBA Class Creativity - Three

06 july 2004

i sit here feeling numb with words
spewing forth unrelentingly
i do not what i have chosen
but is my choice right?
all the questions that crowd my mind
seem to cloud my perception.
i cannot seem to forget your face
how would it be if you sit beside me
and hold my hand through this ordeal?
wishing never made impossible things true.
i wish, i wish you were beside me to hold me
i wish i could rest my head on oyur shoulder and close my eyes
i wish i could bring back the moment
when i lay hugging you and crying.
i would cry myself to blindness if that is the only way to be near you.
your warmth is still with me
your closeness i feel around me
the arms so strong and supportive
the maddening fragrance of your body
the latent, straining desire to breakfree
to fall into my arms, feel heaven close to my soul.
oh how i long to find peace!
how i long to feel love!
how long to feel like a woman!
- screaming- wanting more and more
- unsatiated passions burning
- a hunger like desire
- an animal instinct to feel pain
To find PLEASURE.

MBA Class Creativity - TWO

24th june 2004

sticky surfaces coalasce in front of my eyes.
slowly turning the stagnant air
the heavy breathe of the room settling down,
choking my breath every minute.
meaningless hand gestures,
a monotonous voice
drones on and on
no respite from the tedious flow of crazy words.
what is the probability of this ending soon?
questions asked and left unanswered,
winding through a maze of barbed jargon,
clueless examples clouding my perception,
advanced attention span decreasing with every toss of a coin.

a football match jus saved the day,
england versus portugal left him cold.
and now we are free to go
and play the silly match of verbal volley.
a seminar awaits us- here we come.

MBA Class Creativity -One

15th june 2004
the first attempt at poetry in management...

finance, HR, marketing, systems
blinding me early in the day.
market and company objectives
rule my hours and minutes.
principles of accountancy,
lost in the jungle of jargon.
two hours of trying not to let sleep snatch me away,
paper filled with scribblings growing illegible.
slowly and slowly the voice grows distant,
macbeth and tempest remind me of livelier days.
dumb and deaf to all goings on around,
wordsworth and coleridge's walks seem tempting.
ah! if only i could close my eyes and dream
of things unseen and unknown,
of fairies, elves, caliban and witches
of beautiful love making of porphyro and madeline.

the warm light of understanding and knowing what i hear
comprehending what i scribble....
oh! my god it seems my language too has been curtailed!!!
the horror of it all..........!!!!!